Genesis 2:24 – The First Marriage
The Bible introduces marriage at the very beginning of human history with the union of Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (NKJV). This “one flesh” union underscores the deep, inseparable bond that marriage is meant to establish. In God’s design, marriage is more than a social arrangement, providing companionship, support, and a stable foundation for family life.
Marriage as a Covenant
Scripture consistently presents marriage as a covenant—a sacred, binding promise not only between husband and wife but also with God. Malachi 2:14 refers to marriage as “the wife of your covenant.” This covenantal perspective reflects God’s own faithfulness, calling couples to a commitment that mirrors His unwavering love and promise-keeping nature. Within Protestant theology, viewing marriage as a covenant emphasizes trust, loyalty, and sacrificial love, standing against modern views that often place personal satisfaction above lifelong commitment.
Unity and Partnership
The phrase “one flesh” in Genesis 2:24 highlights the unity God intends marriage to cultivate. This partnership encompasses both spiritual and physical unity, making husband and wife collaborators in fulfilling God’s purposes. Protestant reformer Martin Luther described marriage as a “school of character,” a setting where daily life together tests, humbles, and shapes individuals, drawing each spouse closer to God and molding them into Christlike maturity. Luther aptly observed, “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.” [1]
He also noted that marriage fosters spiritual growth not only during peaceful times but particularly in moments of difficulty. This adds depth to the biblical vision of partnership, emphasizing how mutual encouragement, accountability, and patience bring couples nearer to God.
The Roles of Husband and Wife According to Scripture
Ephesians 5:21-33 – Mutual Submission and Love
In Ephesians 5, Paul presents a vision for marriage grounded in mutual love and respect. Husbands are called to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25, NIV), emphasizing sacrificial love that mirrors Christ’s selflessness. The wife, in turn, is encouraged to “submit” to her husband in a way that reflects mutual respect (Ephesians 5:22-24). Notably, Paul begins this passage by urging all believers to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21), rooting marital love and respect in a shared devotion to Christ.
This Christ-centered model challenges both partners to practice humility, compassion, and a servant’s heart, creating a balanced partnership rather than a hierarchy. Christian theologians often interpret this submission as an invitation to align marriage with Christ’s love for His church, marked by grace, understanding, and shared responsibility.
Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 – The Virtues of a Godly Wife
Proverbs 31 offers one of the Bible’s most detailed descriptions of a godly wife: industrious, wise, kind, and devoted to her family. The Proverbs 31 woman “opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20, NIV), illustrating that her strength and character reach beyond her household. Similarly, in Titus 2, Paul encourages older women to mentor younger women to “love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure” (Titus 2:4-5). These passages emphasize the importance of a wife’s influence within her family and community, highlighting virtues such as wisdom, kindness, and diligence.
Far from limiting a wife’s role, these scriptures honor her unique contributions. Protestant leaders like John Calvin have noted that the Bible elevates the role of a godly wife, viewing her as integral to a household’s spiritual and moral foundation. By cultivating these virtues, a wife honors God and helps strengthen her family’s faith.
Headship and Helper Roles – Strength and Partnership
The Bible describes the roles of husband and wife using terms like “head” and “helper,” which can be misunderstood in modern contexts. In Genesis 2:18, God uses “helper” to describe Eve’s role, a term also applied to God Himself in the Psalms (Psalm 54:4). Rather than implying inferiority, “helper” conveys essential support and strength. Christian marriage, therefore, is a partnership that draws on each spouse’s unique gifts.
Likewise, headship is understood in Christian teaching as loving leadership modeled after Christ. As theologian Tim Keller explains in The Meaning of Marriage, “If God had the gospel of Jesus’ salvation in mind when he established marriage, then marriage only ‘works’ to the degree that it approximates the pattern of God’s self-giving love in Christ.”[2] This reframes headship as a responsibility to serve, protect, and love sacrificially, fostering mutual respect and spiritual growth.
Love and Sacrifice – The Christ-Centered Model for Marriage
1 Corinthians 13 – Love as the Foundation
In 1 Corinthians 13, known as the “love chapter,” Paul lists qualities vital to any strong relationship: patience, kindness, humility, and forgiveness. He writes that “love keeps no record of wrongs” and “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:5-7, NIV). In Christian marriage, these traits serve as a guiding foundation, helping spouses grow in unity.
This love is more than a feeling; it is a choice to prioritize the other’s well-being, to forgive, and to act with compassion, especially when difficulties arise. Protestant thinkers like Dietrich Bonhoeffer have described marriage as a reflection of God’s love, reminding spouses that their devotion to each other is part of their devotion to God.
Christ’s Relationship with the Church as a Model
The Bible portrays marriage as reflecting Christ’s relationship with the church. In Ephesians 5:25, Paul calls husbands to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This model highlights marriage as more than a partnership; it is a calling to demonstrate a love that mirrors Christ’s unwavering commitment to humanity. In this light, marriage becomes a living testimony of God’s grace, forgiveness, and steadfast love.
Christian author C.S. Lewis noted that marriage offers “the image of the love between Christ and the Church,” showing how human relationships can mirror divine love. By following this example, Christian couples make their marriage a tangible witness of the gospel in everyday life.
Sacrifice and Self-Giving
Sacrifice undergirds the biblical concept of marriage. Paul’s exhortation in Philippians 2:3-4 to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit” strongly applies in marriage, calling each spouse to prioritize the other’s needs. Daily acts of kindness, patience, and empathy create an environment where trust and care can grow.
Modern Christian writers like Tim Keller note that sacrificial love runs counter to a culture centered on self-fulfillment. As Keller points out, “In Christianity, marriage is a penultimate thing. It is not the ultimate goal.”[2] Keeping God at the center of marriage encourages spouses to serve one another with humility and faithfulness.
```The Purpose of Marriage According to Scripture
Companionship and Mutual Support
One of the primary purposes of marriage, according to the Bible, is companionship. In Genesis 2:18, God observes that “it is not good for the man to be alone,” so He creates Eve as a partner for Adam. This relationship is meant to be a deep, enduring bond where both spouses support and encourage one another. Throughout Scripture, marriage meets emotional, spiritual, and social needs, and Protestant theologians often underscore its role in fostering friendship and unity. C.S. Lewis referred to marriage as the “deepest friendship,” offering both joy and resilience in life’s challenges.
Fruitfulness and Family
A biblical marriage also includes the idea of fruitfulness—raising a family within a God-centered environment. In Genesis 1:28, God instructs Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” Psalm 127:3-5 calls children a “heritage from the LORD,” highlighting the blessing they bring. This perspective sees the family as part of God’s design, where children can grow in faith and character.
Martin Luther encouraged Christian parents to view this role as a divine calling. He regarded the family unit as a smaller “church,” where parents model faith and teach biblical truths, shaping the next generation. Thus, marriage extends its impact beyond the couple, influencing their community and God’s kingdom through the legacy of faith they nurture.
Reflecting God’s Character
Another purpose of marriage is to display God’s character. As a covenant reflecting commitment, love, and faithfulness, marriage points to God’s unwavering dedication to His people. Ephesians 5:32 describes marriage as a “profound mystery,” relating it to “Christ and the church,” illustrating how marital love can mirror divine love.
Modern Christian authors such as Gary Thomas highlight this view, suggesting that marriage focuses on “holiness more than happiness.” In his book Sacred Marriage, Thomas poses the question, “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”[3] This idea challenges couples to grow spiritually and demonstrate God’s grace in their relationship.
Wisdom from Church Fathers and Christian Writers on Marriage
Augustine’s Teachings on Love and Fidelity
Augustine of Hippo, a significant early Christian theologian, described marriage as a bond that upholds fidelity and sanctity. In On the Good of Marriage, he identifies three primary goods of marriage: fidelity, offspring, and sacrament.[4] For Augustine, fidelity is key to reflecting God’s faithfulness. He viewed marriage as a union where commitment nurtures love for both one another and God.
His emphasis on fidelity aligns with Protestant views, which see marriage as a lifelong covenant. Augustine’s insights highlight how loyalty between spouses preserves the sanctity of marriage and serves as a compelling witness to others.
Martin Luther on Marriage as a Holy Calling
Martin Luther, the father of the Protestant Reformation, regarded marriage as a divine vocation, challenging the notion that celibacy was superior. He famously wrote, “The Christian is supposed to love his neighbor, and since his wife is his nearest neighbor, she should be his deepest love.”[1] By presenting marriage as an honorable calling, Luther showed how each spouse can serve and grow in holiness by loving and supporting the other.
This teaching significantly influenced Protestant views on marriage, affirming it as a serious commitment where spouses help each other flourish spiritually. Luther’s emphasis reshaped Christian thought by restoring marriage to a central place in the believer’s life.
C.S. Lewis and Tim Keller on Marriage as Spiritual Formation
In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis portrayed marriage as a “school of virtue” where partners learn and practice love, sacrifice, and humility. He acknowledged that a strong friendship and shared faith fortify couples against life’s trials, molding them into Christlike character.[5]
Tim Keller, a modern Christian theologian, elaborates on this in The Meaning of Marriage, describing marriage as a relationship in which spouses refine each other’s character. He writes, “Marriage is a way for two spiritual friends to help each other on their journey to become the persons God designed them to be.”[2] This view underscores how marriage fosters both emotional and spiritual growth, enabling couples to practice grace, forgiveness, and selflessness in tangible ways.
Addressing Common Misconceptions About Biblical Marriage
Myth of Male Dominance
A frequent misunderstanding is that biblical marriage endorses male dominance. While Scripture calls the husband “head” of the wife (Ephesians 5:23), it likens this role to Christ’s humble, sacrificial leadership of the church. Therefore, true biblical headship is defined by serving one’s spouse with compassion and prioritizing her well-being.
Tim Keller clarifies this, noting that biblical headship centers on “responsibility to serve,” not authority to dominate. Protestant teaching likewise emphasizes mutual respect, love, and equality in marriage, steering clear of any notion of oppressive control.
Marriage as Restrictive
Another misconception is that biblical marriage stifles personal fulfillment. In reality, Scripture depicts marriage as a relationship where both partners find deeper purpose by centering their union on God. Christian author Gary Thomas encourages viewing marriage as a sacred avenue for spiritual growth rather than mere self-fulfillment, echoing his theme of “holiness more than happiness.”[3]
By pursuing selflessness and love, spouses discover a profound sense of meaning and satisfaction that transcends individual pursuits.
Divorce and Remarriage in Christian Thought
Scripture addresses divorce and remarriage with both mercy and caution. Jesus acknowledges that while divorce was allowed under Mosaic law due to “the hardness of your hearts” (Matthew 19:8), God’s initial plan was for marriage to be a lifelong bond. In specific cases—such as unfaithfulness or abandonment—the Bible provides guidelines to handle divorce with grace and care.
John Calvin, among other early Protestant voices, recognized that broken relationships require both compassion and accountability. Although upholding marriage’s sanctity, he advised the church to support individuals facing divorce, directing them toward healing and restoration.
The Role of Prayer and Faith in Strengthening Marriage
Praying as a Couple
Prayer is essential for building a strong, faith-centered marriage. By praying together, couples invite God into their relationship, creating a spiritual foundation that fortifies their bond. Matthew 18:20 (NIV) promises, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Couples who pray regularly experience a unity that transcends daily challenges, relying on God’s guidance rather than solely on human effort.
Modern Christian marriage counselors recommend establishing consistent prayer times as a couple. This practice not only deepens faith but also promotes healthy communication and compassionate conflict resolution, as spouses seek God’s wisdom together.
Scripture as a Guide
The Bible offers profound guidance for Christian couples, addressing love, patience, forgiveness, and perseverance. By studying Scripture, spouses align their relationship with God’s design and grow in mutual understanding. Psalm 119:105 (NIV) affirms, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path,” underscoring how Scripture illuminates a way forward even in difficult seasons.
Protestant theologian John Piper encourages believers to “let the word of Christ dwell in you richly” (Colossians 3:16), stressing that consistent exposure to biblical truth strengthens marital unity. As couples study God’s Word together, they receive encouragement and direction rooted in eternal principles.
Faith as a Foundation
A shared faith provides a resilient underpinning for marriage. When both partners prioritize their relationship with God, they develop a stability capable of withstanding life’s trials. Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) illustrates, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken,” emphasizing the strength that comes from a marriage centered on God.
Tim Keller highlights how faith guides a couple toward a higher calling. He writes, “Marriage is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us.”[2] This perspective points spouses toward spiritual growth and a mutual commitment to reflecting God’s love.
Conclusion
In answering, “What does the Bible say about marriage?” it becomes clear that marriage is God’s design, a sacred and lifelong covenant where love, unity, and faith flourish. Scripture reveals marriage not as a mere social construct but as a spiritual journey mirroring Christ’s devotion to the church. Guided by principles of sacrificial love, mutual respect, and a commitment to holiness, Christian marriages testify to God’s enduring love and faithfulness.
As couples devote time to prayer, study God’s Word, and keep their faith at the center, they gain strength to confront life’s trials and nurture a deeper commitment to each other. In this way, they fulfill the core purposes of marriage—companionship, family, spiritual growth, and a testimony to God’s steadfast love. Ultimately, a Christ-centered marriage becomes a source of blessing, reflecting divine grace in every aspect of life and community.